So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
