Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
