I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
