If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
