i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize