So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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