Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
