and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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