i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
