I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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