Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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