Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
