weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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