he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
