yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
