Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
