dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
These tits shall not be calmed
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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