so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Someone shattered a urinal.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
