For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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