i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
