Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
