I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
