I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
