Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
