So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
