the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
