If that was your dad, he is hot
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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