i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
