I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
