K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
