he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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