dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
