Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I wear drunk well.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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