his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
