I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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