It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Randomize
