what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
