so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
