I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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