his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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