im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
