I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
