Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
