I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
