Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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