Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
