She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I can't turn off my feet"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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