More tranny stories later!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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