i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
