So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
