look no pants
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
