Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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