Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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