Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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