You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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