i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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