Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
