So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
