so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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