Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have fence marks all over my body
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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