my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
