I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
